A Childish Journey

Shall we run! roll over and jump the fence!!?
Said the boy of three with a twinkle in his face
The building is under construction
The windows still french....

Hand in hand now they go
Giggling laughing spreading innocent mischief
The girl in a pleated skirt and two pig tails hardly made
The boy in shorts all tidy ready to be spoilt
They go like the breeze, laughing,
Eyes wide open in an animated merriment.

"Don't run kids, you will fall!"
Says the old mason shaking his head
They look back and stick their tongues out
The mason's laugh fills in the bricked room.

Brother and Sister, all of three and nine
The elder sister the guide,
The younger brother the mischief.
Th boy stumbles and falls
So does the girl to match his goofiness
Together creating a clumsy harmony
Laughing while asking to keep quiet.

Hair disheveled cheeks flushed
They stand all soiled
The mother all furious,
Dad's the saviour.
"Let's run!" chirps in the girl
Being older, the better she knows the wrath.

They giggle and stumble and run again
While the proud Mother feigns anger
And the Father runs to be a child again.

For You Father

Yes, I blog. Why? because I write. Why do I write? because I love to. It's one thing I have been sure of in my life, my life changed, my goals changed, my situations changed, my likings and dislikings changed but one thing that remained constant is my zeal to write; penning every thought down.

I was an awkwardly introvert child who had her own world of fantasies. I was always eerily mature for my age. I understood situations and never threw tantrums just to make my will be done. I was considerate, empathetic at an age when other kids threw tantrums, rolled over and did what not in a fit of so called rage. So, I was abnormal.
I knew more things than my class mates,had a good knowledge, I didn't study much in fact I don't remember consciously how did I learnt about The Nine Planets, The Stars and English Grammar. I never studied English Grammar before exams. And I was not Nerdy I was well dressed and was my teacher's pet and my friends' heart beat.

Now before taking me as a genius please hold on in fact my brother was of a similar  kind barring the writing part, (he is more into machines). It was nothing but my Parents. My Mother is an excellent teacher,she teaches you, makes you know things and all the while you think you are playing. She is a great story teller and my greatest strength.My Father, well what to say about him, he is the reason I grew empathetic and disciplined and never had thrown any tantrums. He treated us as "young adults" and never as kids. He made us accountable and answerable for our own actions.I was grilled for hours for a so called "innocent mischief"  like speaking in between, taking things from the plate in a hurry, sneezing without putting my handkerchief in front of my mouth  etc since I was three years old or a bit less. Yes, it sounds cruel but then it made a a fine specimen of a human being when I faced the world. My parents were my greatest critic,they knew one thing that I was their life but so, is every child and the world doesn't actually count how much your parents love you.
My Dad watched television with us, played with us after he returned fro the office, taught us and we never had any tutors till higher classes. He did all this with such an ease and when I am working I know how hard it is to do this. He cracked jokes with us, told us about his youth and college days and every single day atleast for once he mentioned his Dad, who had died even before my Dad got married.

He didn't raise me as his son. No, he raised both of us , me and my brother as humans. He was the one who dreamt of me becoming an engineer but actually was beaming with joy when I cracked through the merit list of B.A. (English Honours). He guided us and never made us choose his choice or live his dreams.

He was the one who instilled in me the idea of expressing through pen. People call me "Miss Encyclopedia" "Miss English" but this is all due to person who woke up at 3 am in the morning to teach me, then spent 12 hours in the Factory as an Engineer at work, came back played with me for an hour, taught me till 12 am and then went to sleep and this was his life during my examination time. I slept in the afternoon but he didn't. I wonder how!!

Today seven years have passed I have not heard his voice, I have not seen him. Seven years he has not responded to when I call "Babai". Seven years...a lot of things have happened, I don't know if he knows it or not but all I wanted to say to him the last time he called was "I know you will be there for me, don't have to say me that." and I still believe that and I wish my last day at work should be my last day in life.... just like you.

Dedicated to My Father Mr. Dipankar Ghosh
also my Guardian Angel from 11th June 2007.

For You Maa

In how many ways can a human be saved? How many times can you be given birth to? innumerable.....and every time when I thought I am standing all alone ready to perish you came there, calmly and as usual saved me, you gave me life every time  I died and the saddest part I never realized. The whole of my life I kept quiet and thought no one noticed me, no one even acknowledged what I did but I failed to understand that I am silent because i am a part of your soul, I am so much like you yet I never understood you. I blamed you, fought with you made you cry but I never realized that when you were standing against me (as I perceived) you were actually fighting for me, you were actually trying to be my shield......I am sorry but I don't need to say "sorry" because I am your shadow, your blood and I know you know and love me for what I am.

Your
Suntu

Back to Life after Death

Pop! I just came out of the dead, Wow! so unreal and cool!, I died with a pop! and woke up from the dead with a pop, so, I had lived two years with Dad and have learnt a very important lesson once a manager is always a manager, turns out that my Dad is doing pretty well in the heaven, he used his Chemical Engineering skill to start up a soap industry in the heaven, he was doing well and his entrepreneurial dreams were finally realized, the new "EARTH SOAP" was a hit in heaven and now the Gods were planning to export it to the hell or "Patal Lok". Woe! Surreal Man! anyways as it goes I was taken up by mistake actually they had planned to take one Mr. Dutta and one Mr. Ghosh in a car accident but they took me (Datta Ghosh) by mistake and it took two years of HCS (Heaven Civil Service) Bureaucrats to correct this mistake and by this time my eyes were making two people see, my heart was beating in a singer's body, my liver was in a Corporate Honcho's Body and my Skeleton was in an Anatomy class (I pledged my body), so, my Dad used his influence to give me a new body and thanks to the Chinese people in heaven it was ready real fast and was real economical.

So, now I came down to the earth and the first place I go to is to my mother. Well she relocated with my brother and is now in Pune, while my brother is having a plush job, I always told him he will have it big and it happened. My mother is all right, she is a strong woman I know that but she has stopped smiling and stopped worshiping. My brother has lost his perpetual smile and is serious, boy he looks so mature and he is all of 24, this boy, my kid has grown up a man and what a fine specimen of man he has become. Love his Tony Highflier glasses, I remember giving that to him with the Nexus 5 he is holding, strange he has not changed his mobile in the last two years. I am in an apprentice period this means i cannot reveal myself to them.

The next person I rush to is my husband "Don't leave your job, give your career a high I dreamt of live my dream" my last words to him and he has kept it to the T he has grown in the organisation and has been transferred to Delhi as the department head, Boy! I am so proud of him! though there were times I got diverted and might be a bit unfaithful but he stuck to my word, If I wish to come back he is one of the big three reasons, I love the way he is working. so, tactfully so, efficiently but where is his smile, I wonder?
and why is he smoking so much, does he want to get himself killed and has he been alone all these years? He has not found anyone? and then i do something I never did when alive, I sneak out on his mobile, well he is flirting having flings, so unusual of him and so, very like me but he has my pic as the wallpaper, two years and nothing has changed within, I follow him outside office he goes out and Boy! what a catch! I see an extremely gorgeous lady by his side, he sure has upgraded in his choice of ladies. But where is the smile, the nervous happiness that was their whenever he was with me, even three years after marriage? This lady is so benevolent, is singing her praises and then you are not happy, This is insane!! What else do you want Buddy?

"It's You." was his answer as he looked up the sky with a hollow stare and tear in his eyes. I guess we still speak to each other while not speaking at all.........

My apprenticeship ends and I am all ready to come back, seems like nothing has stopped without me as expected I only need to bring back the smile and faith.    

The Tree and A Dream

My dreams will one day go
Beyond that tree in the courtyard,
Whose gaze meets my doubting eyes
While I sit steady caressing the firmness with my eyes
The window panes delude me
While they partially hide your form
Real or a trifle fantasy but I know
My dreams will reach the soul of the tree.
And one day I will lie beneath it's shining shade
All full of this alive death; as I slip into the limbo.

My dreams will one day soar and fly high
They will go beyond the calm
And will reach the turbulent tranquil sea
Only to meet you by the side of the soul tree
And bathe in the red from the setting sun
And dry in the warm moonlight
The coming dawn shall usher purity out of adultery,
Which was committed while sleeping in the moonlight
With the essence of the burning sun deep embedded in my flesh.

My dreams will one day breathe and sustain
And will go beyond my life and it's feeble mortality
It will reach out to the doomed domination of the  death
And will go overlapping this boundary
And will reach the eternal tree of my dreams

Teddy in a bag

Sitting pretty all done and ready
Suffocated all tied up and wrapped
In the pretence of preserving the innocence
Lies the Teddy in a bag of silence
Shouting screaming sobbing
But to no avail; innocence has its value in silence
When a mind thinks and worse it speaks out
It's blasphemy beyond all measures
Where ignorance and innocence are synonyms
Knowledge wears the crown of the highest sin
And the soul which strives freedom is gagged
Put as a show for the innocence lusting eyes.
The pout so pretty is but a muffled scream
An agony to be freed efficiently subdued
The eyes so pretty do bleed tears
And the throttled whispers reach no one
The scars of innocence writ large
Sits the Teddy quietly in a plastic bag.

A Fragement Years Back

I was lying there beside you
All numb for the rest of the night
Thinking and wondering, laying still but fumbling
Saying a thousand words to you
But not uttering a single one
I wanted to hold you but
My pride had the better of me
I wanted to stop you
Postpone your sweet tying up
Alter the fixed date of joy
Just wanted to give my emotions a chance
Just wanted to give us a chance
But never mind.....I didn't
As you slept on, tired.........all hungry
As you mumbled there in your sleep....all unfulfilled
I saw you......I saw you sleeping
I rested my palms on your cheeks
I saw you...........I saw through you
And let our moment pass unnoticed
I wanted you to be freed.....I wanted you for me
I sighed and laughed at my greed
You were my want not my need
I was at my weakest
I was exposed and felt my soul naked
So i kept quiet all wounded
And let the time, our time pass

And now when I see you after the years
I smile and ponder
That night, flashes clear
And I smile reminiscing
The morning after the moment
When I was happy that I let it pass
But I was at peace that I let myself live and love
Over and over again