Friday, February 14, 2014

Married and Living Together

You know the funniest thing, you do not realize the existence of the things around you until they are thrown at your face; made clear to you by the way of a sudden bolt which breaks your trance. Things always nearer to you are ignored the most but then I was not ignoring this I was always like this too busy to bother, too self absorbed I guess.

Cheryl Cole sang "Fight for this Love" "Everything's worth having is sure worth fighting for quitting's out of the question when it gets gotta fight some more"

Easy to sing hard to follow, I am fighting for the last five years and now I am fighting no more, I am now happy to let it go, go and just fade away, die a natural death as I am too timid a person to murder the relation I was nurturing for the past five years. I was afraid to be blamed, to be in the wrong side of the things, as I had never been in the wrong side ever before, I some how manipulated my way to the right side always.

I never lost and even if I lost I was always right.

I was thinking how to manipulate his one lie and drive my way out of this mess of a relation and put all the blame on him and most importantly make him believe that he was the one responsible for it. Why? because he led me in to a relationship of make beliefs. He took the advantage of the fact that I believed him. But the most important I wanted to be freed, to be alone once again and I wanted to sound righteous and wanted to feel those sympathetic eyes gazing me.

It was a kind of competition now and I never lose without a good fight, so, when you hit me I will always hit you. So, spoon fed was I in the art of being ahead that I didn't want to fall back and lose, I was aggressive, he was mellow so, why will he have an upper hand and make me suffer and make me wonder every single day that what did I do to deserve a life based on a lie.

Looking up I saw a moonlit sky, The autumn night was a beautiful specimen to behold, all quiet, mildly breezy, I looked up at my watch it was 11o'clock "God! I wish I had some Maggi" I said to myself as I started strolling in the terrace with a stray dried twig in my hand, wondering that what a fate the twig had, It grew up at a place then was plucked by some wandering hand of a romancing brain, while idly thinking of his love, her beauty her spoken and unspoken words and then heaving a sigh of relief unconsciously threw the twig and then a wind came and the twig thought it was a worthy companion so, it flew with it only to be abandoned by it today in my doubtful hands.

As I was strolling, I smelled something, something familiar but then it might be my delusion.

"Your Maggi is ready" He shouted from inside
"But I didn't ask for it" I was surprised.
"You were saying it to yourself that you want it, so I went out and bought it" He said it as a matter of fact.
"At this hour!" I was a bit shocked as I knew all the shops are closed.
"The Maggi is getting cold" He shouted the reminder
"Ya, am Coming" I enter wondering that whether the twig had some magic potion that dissolved my resolution to part and postponed it maybe for the next life time. 

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